Sunday Synthpop Brunch: "Sex Dwarf"

A decade before Lords Of Acid started making a killing off of marrying driving techno to breathless soft porn with Lust, the English electropop duo Soft Cell released Non Stop Erotic Cabaret, which did a far better (and more inherently listenable) job of blurring the lines between seedy decadence and mainstream dance music.

While a gloriously doomy remake of an obscure 1964 Gloria Jones single called "Tainted Love" remains for many people the beginning and end of Soft Cell's career, the synth duo of ex-art students Marc Almond and Dave Ball created a host of other songs just as good, if not better, than that monster 1981/1982 smash. Among these unsung classics was their debut single “Memorabilia” (later covered by nine inch nails), “Where The Heart Is,” “Say Hello, Wave Goodbye,” a cover of The Supremes’ “Where Did Our Love Go” (which was famously mixed onto the 12” single of “Tainted Love”) and “Sex Dwarf.”

Perhaps the most infamous track in the duo’s limited canon (Soft Cell broke up only two years later),"Sex Dwarf" is not only one of the most hilariously over-the-top (and lyrically sharp) paeans to sadomasochism in the pop canon, but perhaps one of the sleaziest records (electronic or otherwise) ever released. While the lyrics are definitely bent towards a more, shall we say, deviant persuasion, the production of the song itself is a tour de force for the period, combining then-state-of-the-art Synclavier synthesizer and Roland 808 drum machine technology with, er, voice acting and sound effects to create an undeniably catchy, unstoppable monster of a track with no possibility of ever getting airplay on any station worth its FCC license (one can only imagine what the fabled and rarely-seen video to this song must have been like).

Perhaps unsurprisingly, “Sex Dwarf” failed to make any ripples in the U.S. outside of the dance club scene -- "Tainted Love” remains the only Soft Cell single to ever chart in this country. The story is only slightly different on their home turf: while they managed more than a half-dozen entries onto the U.K. singles lists (and certainly provided some inspiration, at least sonically, to bands like Erasure), “Sex Dwarf” is similarly not listed among their greatest chart hits. Go figure.